Thursday, 23 September 2010

Heart-felt Disappointment...

Disappointment (As defined From Wikipedia, the free encyclopaedia) is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations to manifest. Similar to regret, it differs in that the individual feeling regret focuses primarily on the personal choices that contributed to a poor outcome, while the individual feeling disappointment focuses on the outcome itself

Late night disastrous thoughts, feelings and remedies on a deep, dark, emotion identified long ago as Disappointment...

Oh my goodness, how do we cope with that big emotional rollercoaster that surrounds disappointment? It’s not very often I forward anything to competition. I don’t know why but for this particular publisher I had good vibes and it felt important. I worked for hours and hours on a story that I thought stood a good chance. The time I spent reaching deep inside myself to pull out the very best. Magically I filled in the never ending pages with interminable ideas and thoughts... My characters were larger than life. They should have been, I based them on real people. I knew them inside out... I knew what they were thinking; I knew their goals, their dreams and their nightmares. Even when I wasn't writing, my characters regularly produced real life movie scenes behind the very bones of my skull. Where did I go wrong? What was missing from my beautiful manuscript? Whilst working on my piece I thought positive thoughts. I had a positive expectancy, my hopes were high...

Reading this article some may think, Too High... but, I don’t. I always try to demand the best from myself. I completed several drafts... looked at it from numerous possible view points... I must have read my script a thousand times, looked through it a million times more, simply to eliminate unnecessary chatter, did it flow right? Was there a beginning, middle and an end? I admit I can waffle; I know my style is direct and thorough. I like to use an uncomplicated jargon. Depending on what I’m writing I like to be me... I’m not perfect. I’m just a person with a dream. An individual who if given half the chance would work so hard to make her dream a joyous reality.

When we put our work out into the literary world, it’s a risk and to be honest it’s a risk I’m prepared to take for as long as I have to... It’s my dream; I want to become a brilliant storyteller... Numerous times in the past I’ve openly reported, I’m realistic, I know I won’t be a big literate but, I will be a good teller of stories. My mind is alive, I have enormous ideas, gigantic thoughts, huge plots, commanding characters and the deal is I want to share them.

Sorry to sound so down but I suppose you could say I’m not having a very good year... It started off so beautifully!

Am I going to do anything differently?

Yes, I think maybe I will!

I’ll still maintain my never ending optimism and remain forever hopeful that I will attain realistic goals. I will gather more knowledge and regularly practice my skills. I will hang around with the right people, read their wonderful books and learn as I progress. I will be open to constructive advice and I will try very hard to surround myself with positive energy... If I collect a few more followers along the way, I know that will classify as positive energy an illuminating light penetrating me with a positive self awareness.

Before I close let me post a poem... just to help you if on occasion you feel like me...

Don't Quit...

Don't quit when the tide is lowest
For it's just about to turn
Don't Quit over doubts and questions
For there's something you may learn
Don't quit when the night is darkest
For it's just a while 'til dawn
Don't quit when you've run the farthest
For the race is almost won
Don't quit when the hill is steepest
For your goal is almost nigh
Don't quit, for you're not a failure
Until you fail to try.

- Author unknown -

Sweet dreams... Tomorrow is another day!

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