Find Me...

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She's tiny, a frail looking child who will tell you she's a woman, and unfortunately she behaves like one. except for when she remembers. When she remembers, the veil drops and she disappears.  

Her whisper came through gritted teeth... I live in my minds eye and I'll stay here until it's safe to come out. 

Why is it not safe?

Because his hand is firmly fixed on the back of my neck, he's waiting until I emerge, then he'll kill me. 

I don't see anybody.

He's a shadow...

I still don't see.

He's an invisible shadow, he's been attached to me for most of my life.

Does he have a name?

Yes, he's called Daddy.

Your father wants to kill you?

Yes.

How about we work on getting your father to let go?

He won't, he told me that would never happen.

People say things, they change their minds and things happen to reflect that change, shall we at least have a go?

Her eyes dart to the furthest corner of the room, her voice cracks.

No, I'm scared, I don't want to die.  

MJ Ewen 

What About Connection...

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'Talking out loud often brings results' 

As for me, I liken myself to an in-betweener... I'm not an Author, or even a well-known Writer, I didn't receive a good education, and from the moment I was born, childhood was challenging. Most of what I know is self taught, but, I do have a dream. However, from my experience, unless you're a celebrity or a well known writer, it doesn't seem to matter if your on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, a Blogger, or you're putting the time in, sharing yourself and work etc, it doesn't always bring in new followers, interesting comments, ideas, or increase communication. I do wonder if its' because I'm not paying to get myself out there... or because I don’t pay to increase followers.  Could my posts be hidden, or is it that others are not interested?  And, if you do pay for followers, are they real? 

You can't buy Authenticity. 

Genuine posts from the heart are wonderful, sharing yourself is great, but if I'm honest and I cant be alone in this, quite often it feels as if I'm talking to myself. 

I'm not well published, but I am working on a couple of long term projects, I follow and engage with others, and I always try to keep things up to date. Despite all of the above I'm in it for the long haul, those of you who know what I'm talking about, know that it's something inside that's almost impossible to describe.  Even if I've got what it takes, or not, I simply must write.

There has to be a secret to improve ones communication skills, so if I am missing something out, honestly, I would be grateful for a thumbs up, and I promise to follow constructive advice. Writing is a thing I love doing alone, however, its nice to share snippets. 

Opinions, advice and support, really do matter. I don't just want to write, I want to connect.  

There are times we want answers, and other times we don't... Maybe on this occasion I shouldn't hold my breath.

Until next time!

MJ Ewen 

Her Darkness...

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To look, you wouldn’t think she had a dark mind. But she has…

Over the years, darkness had collected pockets of light and mercifully this was her salvation, her enlightenment, which usually turned out to be her get out of jail card. She always thought the journey would be filled with mist and overrun with negativity, but she was proved wrong when those pockets of light appeared. In each mysterious pocket, there lived a century of light, love, laughter and despite any darkness, there was a rich history. It turns out she had a billion topics to explore, a million journeys to live, with a thousand loves, to love.

She was luckier than most, and learned, not just from her own mistakes, she also learned from others. She deemed that responsible for the keys to her life, and she knew, those who touched her life were the locks that held her keys so snugly.

She used the dark for many things, her stories are endless... and I recall she told me several times that the dark can be scary, but I was to remember how it could also be comforting. 

 

MJ Ewen