Wednesday, 29 July 2009


My goal with this article is to stoke up your self-esteem...

On this wonderful journey through life I have noticed even the most outwardly confident people, can and do suffer from low self-esteem. We all know self-esteem can improve with age. The most important thing to improving self-esteem is to accept yourself for who you are, for me that's been the longest journey.....

I know from my own personal experience also talking with other people that we all feel at times, other people around us have more self-confidence then we do. As a teenager I had my own insecurities, eventually I developed a surefire way of making friends. I learned very early on it was important to be real and genuine making sure they knew I was sincere and loyal.

I already possessed these qualities, so once I realised I had a hunger or need even instinctual urge to be accepted and admired I very quickly realised its all part of the human condition to be loved, needed, wanted and accepted. At one time I use to feel like a drug addict and to this day I still get an instant high when someone compliments me. I have learned to accept this is part of my own personality trait.

I use to judge the world about what people said and not about what they do. We all get older and with that some of us get wiser. The one thing I know is this, I have learnt from reading, observing and experience 'if you seek the approval of your friends, boyfriend, teachers, peers & bosses at all costs then you effectively no longer exist you become a mirror of how they see you.

Self-esteem I feel largely consists of being loved-accepted and valued by others and by ones self. Low self-esteem however, leaves us with a consistent feeling of 'we're not worthy of our friends or partners and if this were to continue, it could make you feel uninteresting, having a negative impact on relationships as we would then continue to become much more needy and passive.

In researching... I came across this reference to the above..... If you agree with the following statements you need to work on improving your self image and confidence levels.

1. I'm my own worst critic.

2. I often feel I need to please others more than myself.

3. More often then not, I don't say what I think because I'm anxious of what others might think of me.

4. I would probably describe myself as a 'perfectionist'

5. How I feel about myself is how others treat me.

6. I usually go along with my partners and other peoples wishes.

I don't wish to harp on about associated personality traits, such as fear or failure disapproval and of making mistakes... lets leave that to the experts and whether you want to delve that bit deeper into the issues surrounding low-self-esteem.


I found not only does the quest for approval distract us from engaging in experiences that could genuinely raise our self-esteem levels by giving us that sense of achievement, the indecision we often feel is really our fear of failure.
I read somewhere that T.V. Hypnotist Paul McKenna's simple solution which by the way I like ... Is "Self-Confidence is at the core of self-esteem" In the long term borrowing your confidence - your good feelings from somewhere else prevents you developing inner resources. We all want to be appreciated, we must therefore learn to stop relying on the external factors, learning instead to develop behaviour that encourages others to value your behaviour, valuing yourself and appreciating your own qualities....
Its sad when someone has Low self esteem... a lot is learned as a child and how one is brought up and valued by parents, carers this certainly has an incredible impact on us. In my own role at work I cant empathise enough the importance of praise, praise and more well as encouragement and lashing of unconditional love.... I also feel despite how we are brought up, its never to late to feel that special warm inner glow knowing we are wanted, needed and importantly loved.

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