Monday 30 December 2013

To Delete Or Not...


I’m here, I’m back...

And I'm hoping you will be happy to hear... that I bring a much greater curiosity, because I feel more than ready to commence on what could be deemed a shiny, brand new path of creation... There are 807 words in this post. And as I write... I purposefully compose with all of you in mind, and as I inscribe, I feel each and every word to the point of deep emotion, because as always I have to consciously write first and foremost with my heart, I feel this is the only way to transcribe to you, a real sense of me...

Sadly I’ve deleted my beloved page on Facebook; majestically I had called it ‘Messages That Touch One's Soul’. For whatever reason, I’ve always had a real sense of being responsible for the giving, saving and signposting of messages... It’s never seemed to matter what the message is, as long as I felt it was for a higher good, and then I would give it even if it was at the expense of me. Fortunately I feel I have always possessed an overwhelming need to save, savour and give, in whatever way I could...  However I suppose the underlying question for me right now is this:

Is the end for my page really here? 

I hope so... because where-ever that page is, along with its words and images, I stand tall, firmly stamping my foot and raise my fist to indicate ... I am, and will always be the one true owner of that page with all its written-icons. It was created by me, who at different times had the inclination along with the mind-set, as well as varied emotions to create thoughts, words, and deeds. I spent many hours working on my lovely page, sooooo... one might think it would be my choice, my right to choose its end, to destroy and rip up those thoughts, to relinquish created ideas and quite rightly to decide they never existed ... I’m able to state that it took quite a while, but sadly I felt I had no choice other than elect to delete my page, why? Because once I found out the bare truth the magic of its location well and truly left me...

My intention is to move to a place where I know words, thoughts and ideas will remain my own. Due to facebook and its current status and policies, I’ve concluded, I no longer want my creations to remain on a networking site where I don’t hold any trust... I’m not saying I won’t be eternally grateful for connections made... I have met some wonderful people who I know I’d never have even sensed had I not belonged to a network which might hold five gold stars for reaching out. I have especially loved discovering connections and the fact that networking sites allow us to hook up, staying in touch if we want... But essentially, I don’t want my creativity to remain in the hands of others who choose to hold on to data as they gather (for whatever reason) information to store. I’ve been advised that apparently this happens whether one deletes or not... It may have been the labyrinth of my own mind which quite innocently shared ideas, tasters, thoughts... but the truth is, once out in the open, once shared with the site, it was  no longer truly mine... Unknowingly I had given permission, signed away my own heartfelt recognition of my own words for another to use in whatever way they wish...  The more I thought, the more I realised, deleting my page was the only sensible thing to do. It was such a hard decision and as you may see, it’s had quite a hard impact on me... Dramatically I liken it to ripping your heart up and standing on it. Some may understand, others won’t but thankfully we all have the mechanics of our own mind, body and soul. The beauty of the human race, which I always try to promote is our beautiful differences...   

After giving it even more thought, I know it’s meant to be because now is the time to move onwards, upwards. Hopefully the extra time away from my deleted, much missed page of messages, will direct me towards more writing, in terms of ensuring the ‘WiSh’ I made at Christmas will come true... I wished for more time to write... nothing dramatic, nothing too demanding, nothing that will cost more financially... just more delicious time to press the fading keys of my old lap-top, as I endeavour to make magic and wistfully touch a soul or two... I have a saying in my world...

Come close, stay near cos without you it would all be pointless.

©2013 Jane Ewen

2 comments:

  1. I understand your reasoning with this decision, Jane. I've been ruminating on similar thoughts and have yet to come to my own resolution. 2013 had me quiet for much of the year for many reasons. I don't know what 2014 will hold for me with personal writing, although I have been putting more effort into my blog. It's a curious thing, isn't it, how personal writing waxes and wanes. My own social media pages have gone into a stasis of sorts, along with my blog, but this is all okay. I haven't felt major urgency about any of it, and I promised myself from the day I began my blog that it would be a place for me to write as and how I chose. A place separate from the writing I do to make a living.

    Enough on my journey. I will say that I honor your decision here. I am grateful and appreciative that the you are shifting your focus to endeavors that bring you joy and growth. The future is bright, my girl, and I am excited for you for the new experiences to come! :)

    Much love to you....

    - Dawnie

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  2. I love to hear from you Darling and today I m happy to say I’ve connected with you twice (not that I’m counting) thank you for understanding my post... I’m still not sure I did the right thing with ‘Messages That Touch One’s Soul’ but to be fair, as I wrote in the article, it has given me more time to write but I still itch to send messages out... Still, it did confound me that my work was no longer mine because unknowingly I’d signed over ownership once it was published... However I kept my personal page because couldn’t stand the thought of not being able to stay connected with family and friends... Thank you for stopping by, your presence is always very much appreciated <3

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