Monday, 27 May 2013

YOU... were made for me...

A Re-edited repost of a favourite blog from 2010...
It's strange even spooky how moments, events, including individuals and times can go on to rekindle memories, reinforcing how truly lucky we are, especially when faced with some memory's that might not have been all that great...But I have gone on to find with every moment of darkness, there is always lashings of LIGHT...
One of my most favourite quotes...  
“In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours.
In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.”
Maya Angelou

This is a story previously told of private thoughts and feelings around a truly wonderful night that changed my life for the better... When I originally shared the story, which involved finding and finally understanding love and all it meant, I quite rightly dedicated it to my wonderful man, Douglas... Who in my opinion, just happens to be the most wonderful man on the planet. For those of you who don’t know Doug let me say this, if he ever read this post (he'd cringe) but only because he’s a calm, modest person, who wouldn’t speak or even think of himself in the way I have portrayed him... But hey you guys, I'm doing this and it's my story!

The first time I set eyes on this lovely man, my heart skipped a beat then it banged so loudly I felt sure everyone in the room must have heard.
At the time of setting my sights on this gorgeous guy, I just so happened to be in a time and space, where I was unhappily watching life along with its participants go by... Dreamily poised on the 2ndfloor which was slightly raised from the main dance floor, I felt weirdly detached as I watched this handsome guy walk towards me. For whatever reason I instantly felt a connection... Don’t ask me how, but I inexplicable knew we were going to be soul mates.

When I realised he was walking toward me I recall my breathing became erratic, and I have to admit to feeling strangely peculiar. As he got closer I saw within him a gentle determination. Then like a bolt of lightning, I realised his absolute purpose... for the first time in a long time I smiled inwardly... This tall, dark handsome stranger had seen me from across the room and wanted to meet me. As he strode forward, I observed him gently excusing him-self to pass through the busy bumping, grinding crowds, all the while never taking his eyes off of me... unbeknown to him, I was quietly drinking in his appearance, and when he reached me with his impish grin, he politely asked if he could buy me a drink. Totally captivated by him, with his tall athletic figure I immediately noted strong broad shoulders, and gorgeous black hair which gleamed and sparkled from being gelled and patiently styled... he looked amazing, just like he’d stepped away from a top celebrity stylist and was ready for his photo shoot

When he started speaking to me with a Scottish lilting tone I thought instantly of Sean Connery, which made me smile more.

l felt a tap on my shoulder as a friend shrieked, come on it’s time to go... In that instant, I really wanted to stay but I knew that wouldn’t be right. I quickly retrieved my mobile number. As we briefly half hugged, I wondered whether this gorgeous human being would ring me, or would he just melt into oblivion, never to be heard from again... Laughing, I found myself being pulled backwards by friends, through dancing crowds; it felt completely surreal as I watched dancing bodies sway to the beat of dance music. My own heart banged like a drum as it too danced. At the same time I tried hard not to take my eyes off of the tall dark Scottish guy who watched my every move. My last vision as I was pulled through double doors... a handsome man and his perfect smile.

For the rest of the evening my mind sensed that hopeful questionable feeling of ... could this possibly be it?... This might just be what I’ve been waiting for. It also shrieks louder, confirming someone found you attractive, someone was interested. He didn’t have his beer goggles on...because you know when he bought you that beer, he ordered himself a coke. Instinct sensed a mysterious darkness, but clearly I saw an elusive light. Oh wow, I'd waited to see that light for so long. A thought nudged in closer making me wonder, once again... was I going to be let down?... Like so many souls, all I wanted in this wonderful life, was a nice guy who’d know instinctively how to treat a woman, and that he’d be open and honest with his feelings... no mind games, just simple to goodness honesty, with a clear defined knowledge of what and whom he wanted out of life. But, I very quickly, and quite rightly reprimanded myself. Lady Jane, this is wayyyy too early for these deep, profound thoughts, especially at this inappropriate level...

Hey but come on, you know what us ladies are like... we just can’t help ourselves. On most things in life I always look at the bigger picture. I’m still not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, but I feel I can say, it’s always kept me safe...

On my way home I heard my phone beep...

My tummy turned then nose dived towards my legs. I saw an unfamiliar number... followed by, "I hope you’re having a good evening. I will ring tomorrow, if that’s ok with you?"

I wanted to shout, squeal, scream and yell. I kept it under wraps, tentatively reminding myself that life sometimes had a funny way of hastily turning in the wrong direction, but I also knew this could be the start of something really good. Getting to know someone was a great way to start. I didn’t answer his text immediately ... I wanted to appear all super cool and sophisticated... *smile*

Soooooo... I left it all of 10 minutes!

My response was to report, I had indeed enjoyed a great evening, and that I looked forward to his call!

Well friends, I’m happy to report that was the start of something magical, which thankfully continues... I'm lucky to be with a generous guy who is warm, genuine, trustworthy, loyal and tactile... Importantly he loves unconditionally... He inspires and encourages me, and I can’t imagine life without him. The cherry on the top of our cake was his proposal one New Year's Eve, followed by us marrying, making life wonderfully complete.

Although I’ll never forget the old days when life was at times a struggle, it also confirms for me that times do change, it also says nothing stays the same forever, and if someone was in your life, and  for what ever reason they left, there was a reason for that... The thing with failed relationships, is that they fail for a reason.

Thankfully there is a happy ending to my story, and that's wonderful but I guess it can take someone who has been through a lot to really know what they want in life... All I can share is that for me going through difficult, challenging, life changing moments, essentially showed me what I wanted in life, who I wanted to be with, and where I wanted to go...


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