I Remember...

Image from Pinterest

The dark room, filled with cobwebs, was cold, ice hung from its windows, and as I lay frozen, wet and shivering on the floor, I felt disorientated. I Instantly became alert to the creaking door at the top of the stairs, initially it was being opened slowly, then suddenly, it flew open. She stood staring at me through the wooden grab-rail. Seeing I was awake, she flew down the steps, screaming, grabbed my wrists, and held on claw-like, as she roughly taped them together. Breathing heavy, and with a strange aroma about her, she glanced sideways, and that's when I noticed the plastic sheeting, lying on the floor. 

Terror filled my soul. I knew she was going to kill me. 

I began pleading for my life, and asked what was happening, who was she, and why was she doing this? 

I'll never forget her response, or the dull, dead, flat tone she used to answer. She simply said, 

"Because I can".

(A developing scene from my latest WIP, The Alma Essie Story)  

MJ Ewen 

Alma Essie...

 

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There is so much to my journey. But, I've instructed my writer to be selective in what is shared. When MJs book is published I want you to read it and enjoy the ups and downs of my family, who want nothing but the best for others, however it's when we come into contact with outsiders, and sometimes, family, that the journey shifts, and changes. and as you will eventually read, not always for the better. There's so much sadness and heartache in life and it reflects in many different ways... I became aware that when I looked into characters and their stories, I knew it was all relevant, and most characters, even the small ones become a big part of who we are, and usually impact on where we're going. The story-line can develop at an alarming rate, so its important to be able to retain the information, and at least record it...    

As the big screen moves across my writers mind, I always see the bigger picture with her, and thankfully we see a smaller one too. 

Anyways my lovely's, it hot here today... I hope whatever you're up to, you're chilling and enjoying the beautiful weather. Me, I'll get back to discussions with my characters. 

MJ Ewen 

Progression...

 

Doesn't It feel good to finish what you start? I finished Chapter 4; and it feels like a real win. And even though I set a deadline that passed... all I can say is that things happen, life takes over, and you do your best.

My novel is set in the early 1900s, and spans 3 generations. It didn't start out like that, it simply developed and progressed, almost on its own.

Initially I wanted to write a short story, because I was taking a break from a fantasy novel that I'd been working on for the longest time. I’d been questioning myself over the length of time it was taking. I felt I’d made it complicated, and maybe that’s why it was taking forever. I wondered if a break would be the answer. I have many ideas, and lots of characters on the back-burner, waiting for their stories.

So, I’m happy to report that my New Work in Progress, is coming along fine. It starts with a Prologue set in 1996, and to-date there are 4 completed chapters.

I have an outline, and for that I use my chapters titles, which keep me on track.

The protagonist is Alma, Sarah Essie, who is born into a wealthy family. The family live in a mansion called, Arden Manor, and they’re lucky to be able to afford hired-help, which includes Rachel, the housekeeper, who has a 10 year old daughter, Isabelle.  The novel is mainly about their relationship, lives and stories.

Isabelle, is many things, and develops and unwinds, sharing stories, around fear, failure, hate, rage, deceit, jealousy, obsession and worse, much worse… and, as the years go by, her jealousy of Alma, knows no bounds. 

Each character, and there are a few, have their own story, and these are shared as the novel unfolds.

Have a wonderful week, and progress as you go!

 

MJ Ewen    

I Believed...

(A Thousand Years - Christina Perri Lyrics)

 I Believed... By Jane Ewen.

I always believed you would find me... It was written in
ancient, timeless scriptures which foretold that I would love you.

 

Instinctively I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep this treasure, this dream, if I didn’t believe.
I understood a deep, knowing... that I'd unconditionally give you all that I am, and the best thing was I saw as clear as any day, that I would be everything to you. That never-ending
invisible list which was built from years of being with beautiful people who
despite their best intentions were not YOU... I wondered aimlessly through life,
and l lived countless experiences, all of which would miraculously bring me to
a moment in time, a moment that would last forever... I wanted you; I implored the
universe for you to catch me, because I knew you’d be the one who would safely
hold my heart. I knew with inexplicably certainty, that you’d be the one who
would see through my walls.  

The beat of our music is magnificent.

I use to struggle to find a reason why I should be loved, but
just by being close you answered many questions, you ticked boxes. My
invisible, constrained list magically began to fade. Truth enveloped me, it
spoke to my soul, ice melted as it spelt words, and I cried, buried my face in
the warmth of you as I hugged your spirit. You whispered simple words of beauty, and managed to convey to me, with an honesty I’d only ever dreamed of, that you were here, you were really
here – at long last LOVE had found me. Oh my word, my lord, the absolute acceptance,
the beautiful, overwhelming feeling for the first time of being able to be ME. Someone
loved me, for who I am, no more pretending... This was so healing, and as all of
the hard years melted away, so forgiveness kicked in...   

Throughout my  life which was often hard, there had been a few happenings,
some good, some bad, as well as a few questions, with a few doubts, but in the
end, once I was secure it all managed to show me that if you believed hard
enough, truth will happen, and a special love would be born... This love will
not only touch you, but it will embrace all of those around you.   

For me the only unfortunate, negative to this much beauty, is
sadly not everyone finds this loveliness ... It’s possible though, it’s out
there, but for me, I believe fate has a huge part to play in this
game of life.  I suppose for now all I can
say is I am fortunate, and lucky in that I believed. Along the way I shared my beliefs with a chosen
few, some laughed, and others advised me to be realistic, but I knew in my
heart there was someone, I had seen a faceless version of him in my dreams, and I told myself I would know when I saw him...
and I did!

My darlings you have your own song, you know how you feel, believe...
take it forward, be what you wish to attract. Be honest, don’t hurt anyone, and
show kindness at all times. Just as I knew there was someone special looking
for me, I also know with that same unshakable, conviction, if we as human beings do all of
the above, the world will become a beautiful place, and all kinds of
beings will live a most wonderful life, especially a life without fear... I speak from experience when
I share; there is nothing worse than fear... I cry every time the news shows that
someone has died, someone is killed, murdered, or even lost and hurt. I don’t
know why, but my heart and soul feels indescribable pain, as if that individual
were my mother, my father, my sister, brother, or daughter etc. I know there
are beautiful people out there, beings who struggle with articulating these same
thoughts, and feelings, I know them to be as as loving as anyone else, and yet they find
being demonstrative, or open a huge challenge. If you struggle to feel
such depth in emotion, to the point it holds you back from being who
you truly are, then all I can disclose is that I was where you are now... I dealt
with it by taking time out to study myself, and rediscover who I was. It was a
tough, but beautiful journey; however it was also uplifting, and enlightening.  I’d never really liked who I was, In the end
though, I learned to like me and soon realised that actually, I wasn’t all that bad. With
it came an understanding of others, as well as myself. I started smiling more at people,
because I wanted to, and not because I had to. I came to
understand how precious a smile is, and the amazing impact it can have on
others.

If you’re reading this, and you don’t have any LOVE in your
life, I want you to know it’s not far away. Be positive, be ready to receive kindness,
and be ready to reciprocate that kindness, because that’s how it returns. Life
is wonderful, and that goes even if your life is currently in the toilet... it’s
a moment in time, and there’s always an end to experiences, which is just as
well given some of the moments some people live.

If your still here...

I would like to take this gorgeous opportunity
to thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to visit my blog,
and read this post. Please come again and know: you will always get a response if you engage.  

I will be back soon.
Meanwhile alllow me to send amazing love,
and peace....