Time For Reflection...

It's hard to believe my last post was the middle of December. Thank you so much for your messages. There's been a lot on my mind. 

I've been thinking about being real, and in studying that I knew it was time to reflect... let things go that weren't serving me, and make a conscious effort to be real. I discovered I was spending much to much time on social media and not accomplishing anything, wasting precious time, which I could use to be doing other meaningful things. It's so easy to get into the habit of wasting time, and it's strange because I can hardly believe how liberated I feel, knowing I can now take time out to do the things I felt I didn't have time for. 

There is a list of things to do. I have a project on the go that requires more research, so now I will focus and be able to continue writing with gusto... Once I have a new excerpt I shall blog again, and hopefully connect with like-minded followers.  Lets face it, most of what happens on Social Media, isn't real... I think once we connect with another who is 100% authentic, and feel the same vibe, its important to stay in-touch. There are not many genuine individuals out there who feel as we do.  

Signing off with love... 

MJ Ewen 

What About Connection...

Image Shared from Pinterest

'Talking out loud often brings results' 

As for me, I liken myself to an in-betweener... I'm not an Author, or even a well-known Writer, I didn't receive a good education, and from the moment I was born, childhood was challenging. Most of what I know is self taught, but, I do have a dream. However, from my experience, unless you're a celebrity or a well known writer, it doesn't seem to matter if your on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, a Blogger, or you're putting the time in, sharing yourself and work etc, it doesn't always bring in new followers, interesting comments, ideas, or increase communication. I do wonder if its' because I'm not paying to get myself out there... or because I don’t pay to increase followers.  Could my posts be hidden, or is it that others are not interested?  And, if you do pay for followers, are they real? 

You can't buy Authenticity. 

Genuine posts from the heart are wonderful, sharing yourself is great, but if I'm honest and I cant be alone in this, quite often it feels as if I'm talking to myself. 

I'm not well published, but I am working on a couple of long term projects, I follow and engage with others, and I always try to keep things up to date. Despite all of the above I'm in it for the long haul, those of you who know what I'm talking about, know that it's something inside that's almost impossible to describe.  Even if I've got what it takes, or not, I simply must write.

There has to be a secret to improve ones communication skills, so if I am missing something out, honestly, I would be grateful for a thumbs up, and I promise to follow constructive advice. Writing is a thing I love doing alone, however, its nice to share snippets. 

Opinions, advice and support, really do matter. I don't just want to write, I want to connect.  

There are times we want answers, and other times we don't... Maybe on this occasion I shouldn't hold my breath.

Until next time!

MJ Ewen 

Dreams & Drama...

I have a sleep condition which unfortunately, seems to prevent me from dreaming. Despite this, but prior to being diagnosed I always use to dream, I loved my dreams. I have to share that I’ve never dreamt about my father... I’d like to say he was the best dad in the world... but he wasn’t. I know if he was here now he’d tell you the same. I don’t understand why but for the past two weeks I’ve had several vivid dreams, and in each one he has told me something special...

The road is long... through the haze of a dazzling mid-day sun; I watch speckles of dust as they dance high into the air... Looking around there are no signs of life, except for a single dwelling with a separate garage on my left, and a single double fronted shop on my right.

My focus is the shop.

Without taking my eyes off the shops door, I notice I’m breathless; I became aware of a dog running. There’s tightness in my chest as I flick frightened eyes to the left... oh my God, no, no, no... A Rottweiler is running after me. In sheer panic I wrap my arms around myself. It zips through my mind like a gramophone player, don't you run, don't you run, Nooooooo... don't you dare run... Oh god it’s on me.  It rises up, wraps huge front paws around me and as if in slow motion it walks in a grotesque fashion, alongside. I don't falter, I don't stop but I'm choking, my eyes stream. Terrified, I’m petrified of dogs.   

Growls, snarls, the glint from polished teeth snap, snap snapping.

I’m going to die, so with one last effort I push open the shop door... My eyes meet his... I open my mouth; I struggle, and in barely a whisper

"Dad... dad, Dog"

He knows I’m frightened, his hand reaches across the counter, and he grasps a handful of sweets, colourful, sugary temptations.

Defiantly he steps towards me and in a booming, Irish voice he commands the dog to sit. It falls away from me exposing angry red welts across my body.

It sits.  

His gaze steady on the dog as he offered more sweets.  

Standing at his side I continue to shake from head to toe. I become completely overwhelmed by my dad’s presence and the most incredible feeling of love, warmth, and safety permeates me. Grateful, I watch as he continues to feed the dog, he tells me not to worry, he says he’s been poorly for the longest time, and that I need to listen to more music, he says on the other side he’s a teacher, and as if by some form of magical enchantment, a magnificent white, grey horse appears, and when dad turns his attention to give it a sweet, for me it’s all too much.

In my roller-coaster of deep, dark emotion, I finally break down and let it all out.

Opening confused, sleep filled eyes... I realise I've been in a land of the unknown, and that I’d met and communicated with my deceased father...

Once I'd calmed ,and in soulful reflection realised there was evidence that my story is set to continue. I felt fortunate to have acquired essential knowledge that this journey is far from over; holding that confirmation fills me with ease.

As I dress and plan for the day ahead, in my mind's eye I see the old Irish rogue who very rarely smiled but oh when he did my world lit right up...

~Jane Ewen~

I am so happy to have touched your spirit...

I lovingly dedicate this post to Irish Carter... I love you and long may we be connected beautiful lady... If I ever make it I want you there! 

http://www.dedicated2life.com/1/post/2013/03/march-passions-guess-what-talent-we-found-while-dedicated-2-life-was-out-doing-their-scouting.html

 

And so the story continues...

When I was recently contacted and advised that along with a few other lovely individuals I was about to be picked to be promoted, I couldn’t believe it... I can’t tell you how overjoyed I was to have someone take time out for me, and say they liked my words, they liked my thoughts and that it was felt if others were to stop by and take a peek into my world, they’d feel and definitely be touched by my loving, caring nature...

All I’ve ever known is that I’ve had a challenging and very unhappy childhood... which at times can still create fall-out, but thank the beautiful heavens and spirits above, and despite the incredible sadness of it all, I know clearly that I’m especially fortunate to have still been able to grow-up to love and respect people... it really doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, old or young, healthy or sick... I am blessed to see something delightfully different in each and every person I meet.

I am also forutnate to have a most amazing ability. This ability magically enables me to look and know if you’re good or bad, if the moment is right for whatever is going on... I have ability to sense the agenda that might be lurking deep-down in your persona... I sense it almost like warmth, tingles, a coldness or even whispered words and fuzzy pictures... Most times it’s been a blessing but sometimes it’s been a curse, the most amazing thing for me is that I’ve been able to hold on to my gift no matter what's happened in life and it always bears repeating, this gift is the reason I survived.

I super appreciate the very fact that along with my long-term, inexplicable ability, I also possess a beautiful instinct that‘s saved me on oh so many occasions, and within extraordinary moments of wonderful, moving magic............

Oh I could cry just recalling those visions... I know on many occasions all I had to do was close my eyes and focus on my world being alright, which brings me to the conclusion...

I want all of you who’ve managed to make it to the end of this post, is to remember... Thoughts Create Reality, and if a very small child, young person, young woman and now mature adult can accomplish that...  then all I further ask is for you to remember, you're in control of you and it’s you who makes choices...  So no matter what’s happened, no matter what you’ve been through, and no matter what point you are at in your life on this beautiful, mixed-up planet... I tenderly ask that you never give up and remember again, no matter how bad you might feel... if you have precious children, these will be their memories!   

Stay close beautiful people...