I am Me... Do you know who you are?

I don’t think I will ever be able to articulate eloquently enough, what being ME actually means... Just being able to communicate from my heart & soul is enough to enable me to carry on communicating to family, friends and strangers. You may not believe this, but once upon a long time ago I would not have dared to say BOO to a goose... I’ve come a long way, I have found out who I am, I have grown to love the me I have become, and that in itself is honestly amazing.

What have I learned this past week...?

That sometimes I can be a little thoughtless, and I need to remember not everyone is like me; they don’t want their business shouted from the roof-tops... I have witnessed that having things to look forward to, makes life that bit more exciting... And from this week’s experiences, it’s been reinforced that family and friends are super-duper important... I have further realised that no matter what one does for another, it won’t make them happy unless they engage 100% ... I think I’ve recently understood that I cannot fix everyone, but I have a feeling that will be an ongoing journey of progression, since I truly sense because of who I am I will never give up trying... I have also further discovered that I seriously have the best husband in the whole wide world; he is such a beautiful soul, so caring, so kind and so considerate... I am a lucky lady to have met and married such a wonderful man, he brings out the best in me and that further adds to the extraordinary wonder of our marriage...

I also know that no matter what we learn, what we run with and who we love and support, the journey will be as long as our learning is on this planet... every brand new day is beautiful, the skills we use to progress will always have an impact on those around us, that’s why it’s ultra important to use Kindness as your key... with kindness, peace always appears and peace is the very best start for learning and wisdom....  If you sit back, reflect and share all that you discover, individuals will become so much wiser and able to pass along shared knowledge ... choices have impact, make sure your choices are for the best... that will then be the justice you bestow on countless others.

Now to look forward to next week and see what develops as I further investigate on this wonderful journey that's set before me...

Don’t you forget... stay close and visit often, your company is most welcome...

AngelJane

Writer's Connection...

White fresh paper with blue/black ink... or if you’re a bit more like me, then it will be a clean keyboard, and crisp computer screen. Then as you prepare for your precious session, there’s a silent but indescribable noise that only you can hear... so when its high pitch screech hums for you to come, play... You'll then realise for a millionth time, that writing is a wonderous participation, and sharing your well thought-through contribution, after  you’ve finally edited the piece as much as you dare, is quite often payment enough! Writing, reading, editing... reading editing and feeling tiny stirrings of butterfly-ish delight as you realise... it’s you who wrote the words, you’re the one responsible and then as your about to publish, it hits you... your writing is a journal of consistent healing, it’s a wonderful continuance of the work you so love to do... I find whatever I write always adds to the health of my wellbeing, and with one article after another I watch, learn and grow... 

I’ve always thought, if you don’t like a story then all you have to do is write your own... use life experiences with preferences towards bringing to life a scene, a moment or an encounter that no other could have experienced in the way you did. That’s the magnificence of writing, and for me it’s also the beauty of reading... to sit, read and feel what a writer is trying to portray... Take in their words, see the scene and understand as much as possible ~ The Story ~ Their Story ~ if you feel connected, it’s possibly because you’ve been through similar.  

It’s also my belief that if there is passion, and the narrative comes together correctly, then you can rest assured someone, somewhere will enjoy your work... a lot won’t but that really isn’t the point, there is a saying, a quote I think from Abraham Lincoln,  

‘You can please all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you cannot please all of the people all of the time’

Recently in the writing world I’ve been communicating about what others might feel are appropriate terms which might describe a story, the situation or even a character... It came to my attention that some individuals don’t like the way writers, can and do express things for instance... recently a writer was (politely) questioned on using the term ‘Guys’ when addressing people ~ They felt there was a possibility it could be demeaning to women... for me personally, it’s not a problem and the point I would like to make without waffling, is that, if the way a writer writes offends, then please don’t read their stuff. When I write I like to think I write as I speak, if the occasion permits I like to shorten, lengthen and use words that I feel comfortable with... I don’t do this to offend anyone, or demean, I'm just being me and to be fair I don’t know any other way to write... All I am wholly aware of is that I want to talk to you with a rich, warm, welcoming voice... so that reader’s feel like it’s just we two. I also do visualisation when writing, so to be honest as much as this post may be read by many, I only see one. However in my heart of heart's, I like to think my writing touches many and it is hoped you get a lot from my words and experiences. I have lived through much, and always try to share what I can, so it will continually be my wish, to help, even support whoever stops by.

I hope you never stop returning to AngelJanes World... there’s usually something being discussed or shared, and has is always felt... please remember, I care that you stopped by.

Stay a while, because you’re more than welcome  

Tears of an Angel...

Tears of an Angel... My most favourite song in the whole world... The haunting melody and words do something to my very soul.

I know I’m capable of imagining good things, I can also imagine the very worst...  but, the one thing I know for sure is that this beautiful song, reminds me so much of my siblings, my life including our irretrievable, sad loss of time, space and people.  

The beginning of the song ‘Cover my eyes, cover my ears, tell me these words are a lie’... Reminds me of all the times I did exactly that! I would cover my face with little hands then pretend I couldn’t be seen... I was safe; difficulties in life would melt away as I would imagine a better, more different life... I know now it’s that what saved me, and made it possible for a little girl to fantasise about things, events, people, places, and a possible, shiny, bright future... I magically made myself believe the unbelievable.  Today I’d imagine, professionals would label a child like this ‘resilient’ back then I didn’t realise I was doing this, until of course I got older and started having flashbacks... My heart would break for the little girl who always felt she was never allowed to be the person she wanted to be.

Today as I listen to the song, I realise, if I’d been born into a better life... meaning, if I’d had both parents and a loving home, the chances are I would have ended up like the ‘Little Princess’ losing it all, and going on to live a life that I would always feel... was not mine... I also know beyond any shadow of doubt, In this life I was meant to struggle, this was my lot...

Looking at the bigger picture and understanding more as I got older, my experiences were needed, so that I would have the deepest possible empathy with all living beings... the good thing in all of this and yes there are good things... is that despite much hardship, and a few knocks here and there... I always managed to recall, there seemed to be a beautiful thread of magic, shimmering here and there in the background, and even when the going got tough, I would usually sense a flicker of thought, that no matter what, all would be well.  

The good thing about sad childhood memories is that small people get bigger, it’s then we fully realise that at some point we’ll be in charge, we’ll make choices.

Regardless of the fact that I always longed to be a Princess, I see myself now as the fortunate one, because I'm blessed to have two very beautiful, loving princesses who are in my world every single day.  

Right now all I ask is that you please accept my blessings with good wishes and stay close...

Maltese Chronicles 2010... Part 6

Thursday 02-12-10

Another day in paradise!

Hazy heat beat down as we sat waiting for our coach. Today we’re going to Gozo ~ a beautiful, dramatic Island. An excursion... we’ve looked forward to this since our arrival in Malta.

As we Waited for our beautiful, luxurious, air conditioned coach; you can imagine our absolute disappointment when a clapped out, white transit van pulls up outside our rather posh hotel....

“Well girls” Miranda crowed “you get what you bloody well pay for” 

The four of us crept onto the van in a muted silence, hoping sincerely, that no one would see us.

Sitting to quickly, all four urgently pull out huge sunglasses, then gently, we disappear into well worn stained seats as we pull sunhats around our faces.

“Who the hell told us to come with this shit company” Samantha hissed.

“You Samantha, you” we all seethed.

“Come on guys, it will be fine” Charlotte ever the peacemaker, smiled.

On the ferry, we relax, order drinks and chill. We step off where we’re quickly ushered along to meet our designated Tourist Guide.

Standing in the Queue...

“Maybe he’ll be handsome or better still maybe he’ll be handsome and available” I laugh towards Samantha

“He better be, I’m getting desperate now”

“Oh no” whispered Miranda, “not another transit van”

“Hello, I’m Michael your guide for today”

Samantha’s mouth drops open ~ Miranda, Charlotte and I giggle ~ she really is desperate!

Michael who by the way is built like the back end of a bus, black spiky hair, brown eyes that seem to be focused but aren’t.

Once we’re seated in the van, Michael gets himself into the driving seat, we all screech as the back end of the van rises...

“Oh my god how much does he weigh” cries Charlotte. We all look around nervously. I have a feeling this is not going to be the excursion we were so looking forward to.

On our way at last, we drive through amazing scenery and to our delightful surprise, Michael turns out to be a brilliant, well informed tour guide, he definitely knows the island, its history and his information is coming across as interesting.

During our first stop, Samantha asks him to take some photos of us as a group. The views breathtaking and as Michael is taking a picture, Samantha’s now well known phrase echo’s around the mountains...

“Michael... have you got a girlfriend?”

“Yes I have a wife and 10 kids” Michael beams

“Oh my good god” she gasps.

The three of us double over in stitches, laughing at the shock across her face.

I looked at Michael and smiled, he couldn’t have said anything better, he then looks in my direction and as if he knew what I was thinking, he winks mischievously; this of course makes me laugh harder... I knew he’d told a porky, serves her right I thought, serves her bloody well right.

Half way through our day... a day which was turning out to be wonderful, Michael drops us off in a lovely, sleepy town, so that we can lunch and shop for a few hours. The sights and sounds feel wonderful.... we order lunch knowing we’re going to go shopping  to grab a bargain and if we have time we’re going to pay a visit to a fancy castle.

We arrive back approximately 5pm – the four of us decide to walk back to the hotel. On our way back we discover a fabulous street which for those of you who are old enough to remember, reminds me of the age old programme, the streets of San Francisco. As we walk along, a man waves at us and shout “Yahoo, yahoo” surprised, we look at one another.

“Is he talking to us?” 

We all turn back to see if he’s waving to someone behind us because, now he’s shouting too.

“Is he waving at you or us?” I enquire to a young girl behind us.

“It’s my uncle” she giggles “but listen he is probably talking to you”

As we walk by, Samantha looks back receiving a very sexy wink.

“Down tiger” Miranda growls...

Laughing, we hurry to get back to the hotel so that we can ready ourselves for another evening of food, drink and dance.  we also want to chat about our last evening together on the beautiful Maltese Island... We’d already decided to go in fancy dress... I was to be a carnival queen, Miranda a bunny girl, Charlotte little red riding hood and Samantha as usual had us in hysterics, she told us she’d decided she was going as an airline pilot...

Friday, our last night... was going to be a lot more than interesting, but one thing was for sure, we all need an early nite to prepare for hopefully a wonderful last evening together.