Sunday, 17 March 2013

Why do I Sit and Write...


There is something magical about bringing words together which help to shape thoughts and pictures as a story, or project develops... The more you practice the better it feels to be able to sit and sense a whole new world appear right before your very eyes... The extra special magic linked with your words and thoughts, is when you become utterly convinced that there is more where all of this comes from, and the wondrousness of it keeps you secretly buzzing, knowing you have so much to share....  

I use to think I wrote to understand what was going on around me, including what the world was trying to say. But, over the past few years I’ve grown to realise that just like a graffiti artist who displays his passion for the entire world to see, or the fine art painter whose work is judged for its beauty and meaningfulness, or even lovers who make sworn declarations of ardour as they carve their connected names, entwined within a single heart... I have discovered I write not only from my heart but from a spiritual soul... occasionally I have heard myself shout out to the world, or in fact to anyone who will listen. I have witnessed on more than one occasion how I like to shout loud enough to those I will one day leave behind... I feel I have no alternative within my position, I really have to communicate that I am here; this is me...  And then when I am in the privacy of my very own space, I make my statement, I heal my hurt, I roar from my wordy world, I’m alive, this is me... and then with heart and soul, my recognition of simply being, gently guides me towards knowing I love my family, I adore my friends... and I will forever have room in my life for strangers.

As I convey this to you, I roll my eyes to the back of my head because in the past I’ve been guilty of having loved unworthy people; I’ve even taken care of others who were not worth taking care of... and then on the other hand, I have met gorgeous individuals and quite rightly decided to leave them behind, but only because instinct cleverly enlightened me to the fact, they had to move on and be somewhere else... I have also touched hearts with a number of members from the human race, whose ‘agendas’ were so well hidden that even I failed in my initial assessment to see where they were coming from. I write further that I particularly feel all of this was absolutely necessary to get to this beautiful point that I’ve somehow magically reached... I’ve managed to make a life where all people contained, are out of this world darlings who continually love me unconditionally ... Sometimes I have ceremoniously felt able to hold that precious love between both hands and sense its specialness, and it always helps every part of my persistent growing psyche...

I’ve had to learn to write through my fear...fear being a real emotion that’s managed to hold me back... you know It takes real courage to write, and it takes even more courage to print... so opening oneself up to possible hostilities, would I imagine hold the strongest writers back, the possibility of rejection, the thought of people you know seeing and perhaps laughing at your type, it’s tone, the element of your own day dreams... I have been writing a while now, and have managed to build up a little protective armour, but I feel sure if someone made a destructive comment, because of who I am and my personality I would sadly be affected... however I know one thing for sure and that is this... I could never be affected to the point of stopping... Oh No, that would never happen ... this is me, I have something to say, and I will say it until I can say no more... 

 You know how I love to whisper be near... so come on move closer!

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