I know my ultimate dream is to embrace the world and its inhabitants... I would right every single wrong... heal all absolute misery... and very importantly I would enable clarity for every single thought just so the human race would know instinctively, how to feel and deal with intense feelings of happiness and frustration and they would totally understand the importance of these emotions within their lives..... I would magically impregnate the importance of thoughts into the central cavity within any thought process and I would clearly show how making the right ones impacts on the world, people and their culture... Consequently instilling in each and everybody the importance of helping, supporting and being genuine... Hmmmmm.... well come on I told you it was a dream....The past week’s been an eye opener. Every experience good or indifferent I’ve felt 10 times over and with a depth that’s been grossly uncomfortable... I’m not sure what’s happened to me but I feel quite strange, its having an impact on the way I deal with certain things.... for example this week my work load doubled, yet I’m going through an appeal hopefully showing the powers that be my current role is so worth the grade it stood at... but you know what, inside I feel like saying..... Stick it!!! I don’t need the hassle. Instantly though, I find these thoughts make me feel guilty because I realise my own attitude can and will reflect on the rest of my colleagues. I’ve something brewing deep inside my brain. I’m working on a solution.....
Also this week I’ve found a very special lady constantly in my thoughts. I know she’s been here to comfort me. Recently I’ve felt upset with a couple of issues that are going on in and around my life... She’s a lady who I’ll always love and admire for the rest of my days or until my soul no longer exists. Wish you were here now Grandma, didn’t realise how much I’d miss you until you left....
My daughter celebrated her birthday this month. I sat back and watched as she blew out her birthday candles and I realised with a warm, gushing pride how clever I’d been in bringing up such a warm, loving, strong and powerful young lady who’s not afraid to challenge appropriately... I know in her career and personal life she’s going to go from strength to strength. She’s focused and her targets are constantly being hit... This is going to be her year... she’s working and studying hard. Love you gorgeous girl, I’m so lucky to be your mum. I’m thankful you’re in my corner.
It feels strange to be so happy yet so sad. I know I’m not alone, the world is a beautiful place but unfortunately we all have to deal with life’s little icky bits that unfortunately, are not so nice.... We all have our ups and our downs... I’ll hastily add, I’m still of the opinion I'm the luckiest lady on this planet, I feel that thought will never change but at the moment I feel as if there’s an echo in my existence that needs a little TLC to make it all better. Maybe it’s the constant feeling of unease, as I leave the house each morning... to spend the rest of my day in a place I no longer enjoy... Maybe a new challenge is needed and should be set... I feel the skills I possess are wasted and yet there’s a part of me that loves the place I’ve been for the past 8years... Maybe I don’t like change and that’s what I’m struggling with.... I’m sure time will tell... You’ll be the first to know if the echo receives an answer...
When I open my eyes wide I see so much for so many.... I love the energy I feel for those around me. I feel such brilliant vibes when I look at someone... I know if their happy or sad... I know if they need help or not... I know what there going through and sometimes I stumble when I feel their pain... I have a gift for knowing what to do or for comforting, even helpfully showing them the road they could take. At times I’m astounded as to where the ideas and information comes from... I just know its right and it’s imperative I share it...
Regardless of what happens around us, it’s important we keep hold of the positive side of life even when it’s slipping through our fingers... The positive I will leave for you today... is that despite the fact I know I’m going to be extremely busy work wise this week, I also know I’ll be meeting a whole lot of new people and that won’t be a bad thing...
So my friend, until the next time I can physically sit my derriere on my much loved writing seat in the feint hope I reach out to you... I’ll look forward to seeing you then... Have a wonderful week. Mwah x
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