I was asked many moons ago.. "Do you believe" I said "Yesssss"... Asked again "But do you really.. really.. reeeeally believe" thinking harder now.. frustrated by my reluctance.. "Come on, do you believe in Angels" In silence I have a reflective pause "Yesssss... I believe" I said gently "especially in Angels made from gold"... "Angels of gold" she said. I smiled and held my breath. Angels do exist I know because I hear them every day.. I watch them work... I see them play... They are usually busy Bees and normally have a list of things to do.. places to go.. people to see.. Their aim on the planet is quite obvious ......... Helping a friend in deed and strangers in need.
The first time I saw my Angel... I was 7 yrs old. I lay perfectly still in bed, crying freely. Frightened to move... it was very dark outside but the room was well lit from the shadow of the moon ... I was poorly, feeling quite distressed. In the bedroom where I was staying, it's oblong shape held three single beds... in between each little bed there was a very small locker, to put your personal belongings in. Well... thats what they told me. Didn't they know... where I came from there was no chance of belonging or even having belongings ... So I lay there crying. I had been asleep ... something had woken me ... anxiously I looked around, I was very afraid of the dark... I had told them, the new people, but there was no night light left on for me. Petrified of getting out of bed ... I didn't know where I was or who they were.. Oh why had they not listened to me... I then cried even harder.
Whilst crying, I slowly realised the room was becoming brighter, looking up towards the light, I was convinced someone had switched it on... No light... and again the room was beginning to glow ...
At first she just stood there... I didn't know what to do... I was feeling sooooo sad but the light in the bedroom made me feel better... I dared to sit up, I looked at her she was very, very beautiful. Looking up into her face, her eyes were closed. Slowly I stopped crying. Sitting there in the golden glow of the bedroom, I wondered what to do... when quite suddenly the Angels eyes opened.. looking at me, she spoke.. her voice sounded like tingling glass, the way beautiful crystal sounds when you strike it with a spoon.
I wanted to hear it again... This time she spoke higher... Your going to be alright, things have been difficult for you... your feeling very sad, this will pass. My Angel moved herself slightly to turn more towards me.... she continued in clear crystal tones... Your life will turn around, you will see and feel what its like to be happy... Your a good little girl and soon you will see everythings going to turn out well for you..
My Angels icy blue eyes had bulbous tears in them. I watched as they cascaded, brimming over small dark shiny lashes. She spoke to me very slowly about life and what had been .... I asked her if she was going to be my new mummy ... her tears flowed faster, she replied reassuringly explaining she could not be my mummy but she would be something better ... "Better then a mummy?" I gently protested knowing deep down how badly I wanted a mum... "Yes better, because I want you to know I will always, always be with you even when you can't see me, you will forever feel me, knowing I am only a whisper away. Thinking about what my Angel had said made me feel safe, warm and secure... I sat mesmerised, rhythmically nodding.
I very soon realised Angel and I were not alone. My concentration broken, I looked around the bedroom to disover a further two Angels smiling down on me. Their warmth and sincerity gave me a feeling of serenity, I recall the feeling totally overwhelmed me. It was amazing. I didn't feel bad now and hey, maybe this strange new room was going to make a great bedroom after all.
I sleepily lay my head on the pillow. Magically reading my thoughts, my Angel whispered softly never forget that you are not alone, I will take care of you.... feeling a gentle touch with the sweet smell of roses, I drifted off....
The next day I jumped out of bed, looked around the cool bedroom feeling tremendous happiness. I noticed someone had been in and left some really smart clothes for me to wear.... Wow a dress.. yes a dress and underwear and socks.. they smell good.. what's this? Oh yes a toothbrush! This is so fantasic. Dressed in minutes and ready for action.. I'm running down steps through fire escape doors on towards the big dining room. I smell food, toast.. I see milk... I run to the enormous windows surrounding the room, I see trees...grass....flowers.... Wow this is so good. I hear a voice behind me.. another child... "who are you"? I swirl in my beautiful pink dress which I hold out wide... I observe two twinkling brown eyes and a crazy mop of black hair "I am a princess" I say regally "and where do you live princess"? Raising my blonde head, I look with wonder around my brand new home.... "why... I live here in my castle" flopping down, falling backwards on to an over stuffed sofa, throwing my feet high into the air whilst I further examine my beautiful white socks... I'm smiling wide... just in time to see my hero walk through the door..........
"Ahhhh there you are Jane" Mr Webb cried ... "we were looking for you" :)
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