Browsing the web today in search of answers to questions, I came across something that made me stop and think... I've seen this story before and recall being totally mesmerised at the meaning behind an unknown author's words... I wanted to share so, here it is. Please, take time to read and sense the meaning behind one lady's rush through life and time... See what happens when she takes time to stop awhile... I appreciate how it's directly written but so beautifully put!
The beginning... There was this little girl sitting by herself in the park. Everyone passed by her and never stopped to see why she looked so sad. Dressed in a worn pink dress, barefoot and dirty, the girl just sat and watched the people go by. She never tried to speak. She never said a word. Many people passed by her, but no one would stop.
The next day I decided to go back to the park in curiosity to see if the little girl would still be there. Yes, she was there, right in the very spot where she was yesterday, and still with the same sad look in her eyes.
Today I was to make my own move and walk over to the little girl. For as we all know, a park full of strange people is not a place for young children to play alone. As I got closer I could see the back of the little girl's dress was grotesquely shaped. I figured that was the reason people just passed by and made no effort to speak to her.
As I got closer, the little girl lowered her eyes slightly to avoid my intent stare. As I approached her, I could see the shape of her back more clearly. She was grotesquely shaped in a humped-over form.
I smiled to let her know it was OK; I was there to help, to talk. I sat down beside her and opened with a simple, "Hello." The little girl acted shocked, and stammered a "hi," after a long stare into my eyes. I smiled and she shyly smiled back.
We talked until darkness fell and the park was completely empty. I asked the girl why she was so sad. The little girl looked at me with a sad face said, "Because I'm different." I immediately said, "That you are!" and smiled. The little girl acted even sadder and said, "I know."
"Little girl," I said, "you remind me of an angel, sweet and innocent." She looked at me and smiled, then slowly she got to her feet and said, "Really?"
"Yes, you're like a little Guardian Angel sent to watch over all those people walking by." She nodded her head yes, and smiled. With that she opened the back of her pink dress and allowed her wings to spread, then she said "I am. I'm your Guardian Angel," with a twinkle in her eye. I was speechless -- sure I was seeing things.
She said, "For once you thought of someone other than yourself. My job here is done."
I got to my feet and said, "Wait, why did no one stop to help an angel?" She looked at me, smiled, and said, "You are the only one that could see me," and then she was gone. And with that, my life was changed dramatically. So, when you think you're all you have, remember, your angel is always watching over you. The End...
So you see, if you open your heart and believe in the unbelievable it usually follows your eyes will really see what is about you and when you really see and feel then, you touch life with an unmistakeable impact... I hope you got something from the story. I did!
Shared with love xxx
If you’ve read Part (1) I sincerely hope by the time you finish Part (2) you’ll realise clearly, what I'm trying to say. With all of my heart I know that being brought up in the care system is not a bad thing. Being taken care of and having a different way of life, I'll admit can be challenging as well as a little daunting ... but what I'm attempting to share here is that personally for me, being taken from a bad world into a different one was the making of me... Don’t misunderstand, I would much rather have had loving parents who would have made me their world, but, that was not going to happen so, the next best thing did happen and for as long as I live, I'll always be thankful for the much needed intervention that took place, giving us other opportunities that I did always try to embrace...
My other message here is this... If you’ve been unfortunate enough to be placed in care, then try to remember, life is what you make it and although that may be hard to deal with during times of distress and uncertainty also know when your world settles, take into account the law of child protection and its importance. If you’re in care or were in care then yours was compromised. Don’t let it ruin your future... If like me you remained in care, be realistic; know the responsibility lies with the adults who were around you. Now move forward, shake the shadows from your shoulders and be the best that you can be.
Continued...
We were taken to the police station; the three smallest children were taken to a nursery unit.
My brother and I were taken to a children’s home quite close to the nursery. I felt completely numb as well as totally disconnected not just from my siblings but from life as well. Every few seconds I’d feel a wave of panic wash over me, but, the policeman who shouted had sternly ordered me to remain calm just so I wouldn’t upset my siblings further...
At the time, I didn’t know it but later I came to realise, this was the change that would end up saving my life... I went on to experience another way of living, another way of life. I would feel what it was like to be liked. I learned how to live properly, how to converse. I learned how to read, write, make friends and interact normally. So many strange new wonderful experiences awaited my siblings and me. I remember feeling happy in my heart for the first time. I knew I didn’t want to return home to the dark, dreary miserable life I’d lived... the light was here, the warmth was all around me. I didn’t feel threatened by anybody because I sensed they wanted to help. I recognised genuine sparkles in other people’s eyes. But there was a way to go yet... no one who is brought up in a dysfunctional household is without a few problems...
It started the first night they tried to settle me down in the home, I waited for them to leave then I crept out of my bed to get in with my brother. Feeling more settled I very soon fell asleep. In the early hours I was woken, it was dark and someone with a calm soothing voice carried me back to my own single bed. I waited again and as soon as calm voice left, I crept back into my brother’s bed, again instantly falling asleep... The next day, calm voice told me It was really important that I sleep in my own bed and that I wouldn’t be allowed to sleep with my brother... I cried for the longest time, I couldn’t understand, didn’t they realise I’d never had a bed of my own. My siblings and I always, slept together.
The first morning...
Calm voice gave me and my brother a wash bag which contained unfamiliar things. The first thing she showed to us was a small round container; she took a toothbrush, dipped it into the loose pink powder and pushed it against my teeth, the powder tasted lovely, so I started to eat it...
Laughing she cried out “No, no, no it’s for cleaning teeth”
We were bathed and deloused.
Then we were taken back to individual bedrooms where we discovered fresh clothes at the bottom of our beds. I started to dance in my room, I felt so happy, happy, happy.
At breakfast the other kids looked at us funny. I smiled inside and then out because I didn’t care, we were eating cereal, toast and drinking milk... it was wonderful.
Calm voice spent a lot of time with us that first day as did a giant of a man called Mr. Webb... So much to learn, so much happening... Did I ask for my mother? Yes I think I did once, my worry was she would return and take us away from this beautiful place.
I explored and spoke to all the people I could find, there were lots of them... they were in the kitchen, in the office, in the laundry room the place was humming. There was one lady I will always remember, Mrs Bull was her name. She always held a gentle face and persistently told me I had beautiful eyes and hair... Even as a child, I realised there was something missing on this lady’s weather beaten face, she didn’t have any eyebrows or eye lashes and her hair was a wig in a net but I loved that lady so much she made me feel warm, safe and pretty. I always looked forward to her shifts as we would spend long periods of time reading together.
I took my time tentatively exploring these new surroundings. Already I sensed a calm exterior which smelled lovely and clean, including adults who spoke nicely and who came across as friendly in a sort of genuine kind of way... what I also recall is that I was a perceptive little girl who instinctively sensed if there was or could possibly be a hidden agenda, or even, an ulterior motive. I usually managed to keep myself safe as I also had my trusty internal scanner that sensed evil or wrong doers... So with my inbuilt extra sensory perception switch to maximum and on full alert, I knew and understood there was no danger at least not in this building.
The following morning after a fitful night’s sleep I woke to find fresh clothes and my wash bag hanging on my bedside table... I thought, wow, this happens every day. There was a real sense of order and routine which made me feel safe and let me tell you that were something I hadn’t ever felt before.
Dressed in minutes and ready for action... I run down steps, through fire escape doors on towards a big dining room. I smell food, toast... I see milk... I run to ginormous windows which completely surround the room. I see trees, grass, flowers. This is so good.
I hear a high pitched voice from another child.
"Who are you?" she shrieks.
Swirling around in my beautiful pink dress which I hold out wide with both hands... I observe two twinkling brown eyes and a crazy mop of thick black hair.
"I’m a very important princess" I say with complete glee.
"And where do you live princess?” she giggles.
Raising my small blonde head, I look around with wonder at my brand new forever home...
"Why, I live here with you in my castle “
Falling backwards on to an overstuffed sofa, I excitedly throw my feet up high into the air; I further examine beautiful white socks. Then smiling wide I’m just in time to see my hero walk through the door.
"Ahh there you are Jane" Mr Webb smiles, “we were just looking for you"
When I was a little girl I use to think if I placed my hands over my eyes no one would see me... How wrong I was but, what I did manage to eventually do was make my own special power so that I could be amongst others and be completely invisible... One of the things I learned in life is that we’re able to hide, use power and make things happen. So I miraculously became a robot...
Today though, I’m blessed to be able to say I no longer remain that poor invisible little robot. Despite my history my sincere love of people proved that with my own survival-thoughts I managed to cling on to most of life’s priorities. I genuinely love to help and support others, especially in times of distress or them experiencing crisis. I believe at these times you can definitely feel your inner magic transform allowing it to become useful due to the absolute and utter need.
Throughout life, I’ve always tried to maintain a cheery disposition, even when I’ve not felt particularly happy... I’m glad to report most times it worked but sometimes it just didn’t... Back then I desperately needed to develop strategies, mystical mechanisms to help me as a small person cope with a terror filled existence. Let me tell you this... in my childhood, the wonderful thing was, although those mechanisms developed slowly, I witnessed a light with each progression; they became better, clearer and much more acceptable to use in my everyday life. I developed them to the extent that no one realised I was receiving help, but... for me I knew those magical lights which were mysteriously accompanied by a special visitor, would either save me or help significantly so that I could walk my destined path safely and for the most part, I was also able to hold my head high and still not be noticed.
Within life I’ve learned so much and as you can imagine that list’s positively endless... Here are but a few... I needed to be more forgiving of myself and others. I also don’t live in the past like I use to. Don’t let things drift. Stop reflecting on things that didn’t work. Encourage others to feel good. Compromise occasionally, I’m still learning and at the moment I’m focused on how to ask for things for myself. Organise my work and focus on one thing at a time. Make realistic goals and make friends with people who like themselves.
Even as a child I remember clearly using affirmations. I recall I used them more when I was crying and distressed. It wasn't something I shouted out, I would whisper them. I didn’t realise it then but I later came to understand that these work on your sub-conscious level, influencing emotions. When I first learned about repeating affirmations, I frequently thought they might not work but after consistency I noticed I felt relaxed. I quickly learned affirmations had to be strong and positive and just to give you more of an idea when I used this strategy, I generally said things like...
I am happy
I am blessed
I am wanted
I am relaxed
I am loved
I am needed
I am appreciated
I know who I am and I know what’s right
I normally pick the one that suit me best. I repeat it lots throughout the day, but there are thousands of possible affirmations it depends on you, your life style and the need... Sometimes I write it on post it’s and stick them where I’ll be the most... i.e. computer, diary... I repeat and think about it when I go to bed. I’ve found this helps maintain a cheery smile, not always but most times. I also discovered relaxation is one of the most effective strategies. Being relaxed usually means we become more resilient and usually helps us to handle stressful situations appropriately.
I also believe in visualisation, a powerful way of bringing happiness into one’s life. When I use visualisation I generally use it for others and on occasion have used it for myself.
Many of you know I’m preparing to become a grandmother. There is already much I know but, I strongly believe there’s always room for improvement just as I also believe some of the old ways are the best ways, still it doesn’t do any harm to improve oneself in terms of updating knowledge – seeing what modern thoughts and ideas are around on parenting. I feel the old with the new is a really good combination, making it totally possible for both to complement each other...
Hugs from AngelJane :)
Here’s one conscientious blogger who'll never get tired of advising her fellow human inhabitants... To change our world, we have to look within to make those changes we want to see happen in our world...
During the past year I’ve learned much about living & writing. I know what it means to live, breath and feel my own writing through words & thoughts and by regularly embracing my imagination. I know only too well what it brings into my life and I'm aware of how it makes me feel right through to my core. Over the past 24months I’ve healed so much... probably much more so than in the last 30 years. I sense that’s because I’ve turned full circle and found the opportunity and inclination to write. Consequently I can observe and truly feel life’s valuable lessons.
For me writing has brought a blend of creativity and imagination which I feel has somehow magically developed my storytelling skills. I see from reading others, we all possess a wonderful style that I presume reflects important parts of our personalities. I find it very interesting when I read my own work back; I distinctly hear my voice with all its quirks and twists. One of my wishes is that when others read me, they like the style and sense the genuine sincerity from my tone.
I also hope as a writer when I scribe be it fact or fiction, I want to reflect my own style and attitude as it's personally felt at the time of me writing. I recognise when writing, my whole thought process and attitude can be extreme depending of course on the subject matter... For instance, I've found when I write fiction I’m able to see and sense the very place I write about and I know I’ve reported this before, but the characters are as real to me as my own family. So if my readers comprehend my writing style as I’ve written it... I know my story/article will affect them, which is just one of the many reasons I enjoy writing.
I realise I’m not the best writer in the world and although initially that was extremely important to me, over the months I’ve happily discovered it’s not as important as I once thought. The important thing for me is that I am real and write to the very best of my ability, enabling readers to enjoy and get something from whatever I’ve written. I especially want them to hear my voice and feel its tone. Depending on what the subject is, I’d also be pleased to know they hear within my style the objective getting the informal and personal flow. I hope they get the informative or affective style and essentially detect the attitude from within the pages.
So when you think of writers just sitting down and tapping away or burning the ink along blank pages... I think I'm right in saying for most of us it’s a much more important job. We consider our readers and the affect our words, thoughts and ideas may have on them. I very often hear that words are soooooooooooo powerful... they can boost, energise and give hope... they empower and undo... The power of having the right words at the right time as we all know can be phenomenal and if said at the right time can be healing.
I’ve also read quite a bit recently on individuals encouraging us to be controversial, challenging with words as well as a firm attitude. Although I don’t disagree with using these skills should one need them, I do disagree with flaunting oneself in a manner that comes across as aggressive or even hostile, possibly giving the view to others of being un-compromising.
This week I have been accused of being ‘too soft’ when faced with this accusation I smiled. Personally... as I've already stated in a previous blog, I’d much rather work with honey then vinegar and through the years I’ve witnessed more positive results my way, not just from actions but with my words. I decided long ago I'd much rather be soft then hold a cold hard heart. Unfortunately I’ve witnessed people with this quality and its my opinion they do nothing in terms of their best for the people they work with.... I cannot over empathise this point enough but, it can be done by simply remembering, no matter who we converse, interact or support... just gently remind yourself, this could be your daughter, sister, mother, aunty, niece, son, uncle, dad, brother.
Everyone, no matter whom it is... is unconditionally important!
Namaste.
Disappointment (As defined From Wikipedia, the free encyclopaedia) is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations to manifest. Similar to regret, it differs in that the individual feeling regret focuses primarily on the personal choices that contributed to a poor outcome, while the individual feeling disappointment focuses on the outcome itself
Late night disastrous thoughts, feelings and remedies on a deep, dark, emotion identified long ago as Disappointment...
Oh my goodness, how do we cope with that big emotional rollercoaster that surrounds disappointment? It’s not very often I forward anything to competition. I don’t know why but for this particular publisher I had good vibes and it felt important. I worked for hours and hours on a story that I thought stood a good chance. The time I spent reaching deep inside myself to pull out the very best. Magically I filled in the never ending pages with interminable ideas and thoughts... My characters were larger than life. They should have been, I based them on real people. I knew them inside out... I knew what they were thinking; I knew their goals, their dreams and their nightmares. Even when I wasn't writing, my characters regularly produced real life movie scenes behind the very bones of my skull. Where did I go wrong? What was missing from my beautiful manuscript? Whilst working on my piece I thought positive thoughts. I had a positive expectancy, my hopes were high...
Reading this article some may think, Too High... but, I don’t. I always try to demand the best from myself. I completed several drafts... looked at it from numerous possible view points... I must have read my script a thousand times, looked through it a million times more, simply to eliminate unnecessary chatter, did it flow right? Was there a beginning, middle and an end? I admit I can waffle; I know my style is direct and thorough. I like to use an uncomplicated jargon. Depending on what I’m writing I like to be me... I’m not perfect. I’m just a person with a dream. An individual who if given half the chance would work so hard to make her dream a joyous reality.
When we put our work out into the literary world, it’s a risk and to be honest it’s a risk I’m prepared to take for as long as I have to... It’s my dream; I want to become a brilliant storyteller... Numerous times in the past I’ve openly reported, I’m realistic, I know I won’t be a big literate but, I will be a good teller of stories. My mind is alive, I have enormous ideas, gigantic thoughts, huge plots, commanding characters and the deal is I want to share them.
Sorry to sound so down but I suppose you could say I’m not having a very good year... It started off so beautifully!
Am I going to do anything differently?
Yes, I think maybe I will!
I’ll still maintain my never ending optimism and remain forever hopeful that I will attain realistic goals. I will gather more knowledge and regularly practice my skills. I will hang around with the right people, read their wonderful books and learn as I progress. I will be open to constructive advice and I will try very hard to surround myself with positive energy... If I collect a few more followers along the way, I know that will classify as positive energy an illuminating light penetrating me with a positive self awareness.
Before I close let me post a poem... just to help you if on occasion you feel like me...
Don't quit when the tide is lowest
For it's just about to turn
Don't Quit over doubts and questions
For there's something you may learn
Don't quit when the night is darkest
For it's just a while 'til dawn
Don't quit when you've run the farthest
For the race is almost won
Don't quit when the hill is steepest
For your goal is almost nigh
Don't quit, for you're not a failure
Until you fail to try.
- Author unknown -
Sweet dreams... Tomorrow is another day!
I’m a big believer in two very important subject matters. The first being the importance with its consequence of ‘how we treat each other’.
The second on the possible magnitude of ‘paying it forward’ I’ve always believed in these two concerns and feel determined as an individual to do all I can to educate where possible. My thoughts and feelings are that this will make the difference to our world by all of us helping to make the world a better place. Let me start with ‘paying it forward’ the writer Catherine Ryan Hyde in 2000 wrote a wonderful book called ‘pay it forward.’ Sometime later it was released as a film because nestled within the books pages a message came across as sincere and significant.
The story behind the title is centred on a 12yr old boy called Trevor who’s given a project from his teacher. His task is to come up with a plan that will change the world through direct action. It’s on his way home that Trevor comes across a homeless individual called Jerry. Trevor decides he’s going to make a difference to Jerry’s life by getting him on his feet.
His plan progresses with him knowing he will do good things for three people. In his pyramid of charitable schemes, the three people must each in turn do good things for three other people. What appears to initially be a failure is indeed a success. It’s not immediately known but is traced backwards by a reporter who’s the benefactor. The initial recipients of Trevor are a drug addict, his badly scarred school teacher, and a classmate who’s constantly bullied by his peers. The film received mixed reviews but I remember feeling this could well have been written by my own hand as I identified with all that Catherine said.
As a believer in paying it forward, I’ve reported in the past our actions, thoughts words and deeds impact somewhere, somehow with someone... As thoughtful beings, and depending on what we are trying to achieve we can make that as good or as bad as we want. There are times when we can do something anonymously and simply sink into the warmth of knowing we did well, and of course there are the times we do things just out of the goodness of our hearts for family, friends and strangers. The other part to this is sometimes we do things and we never get to see what we payed forward but... I always like to bask in the knowledge, occasionally others are not aware of the good we’ve done but I have witnessed countless others on the receiving end and let me say it’s always been a joy to observe.
Whatever you do to help others remember, payback is a thousand times more than you’ll ever think possible... below is a personal favourite part of the film. I hope you have time to Watch & Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGcwG-2owow
A quick mention on the first part of this article, ‘How we treat others’ I’ve just read one of my favourite mediums Lisa Williams's blog. Today she talks about what we put out to people. Lisa shares my own belief that how we treat others is so very often how we ourselves get treated. I totally agree. Remember... ‘Treat others how you would like to be treated yourself’
I’ve inserted Lisa's blog for those interested in further reading her article....
http://www.lisawilliamsmedium.com/welcome-to-my-world/2010/9/11/dont-force-life-live-it.html
Till next time Mwah x
Photo courtesy of joe-ks.com
Just a very quick caption to remind you and others, that I don’t have a problem sharing my mind, my feelings or my life... or even about being open, honest & genuine... For me it’s the absolute best feeling in the whole wide world, I should know I was mute for years.
But thank goodness, not anymore... I have so much to give and so much to learn. This is the time to embrace the world with all its blessings...
I realise not everyone is this demonstrative, but that’s ok because I always sense the barrier and respect.
Love, Light & Laughter x
I’m writing this because of something I learned recently and I consider it to be terribly significant. I’ve decided to hopefully produce an enlightening article... covering a few facts that I carefully researched... I want to share this because until recently I’d never even heard of an Empath. When I looked further into this interesting subject I discovered something amazing. That I could possibly be an Empath... in a bright illuminating flash my path and its journey finally made sense.
For those of you who may not know... Being an Empath is having a unique ability to read and comprehend people. It doesn’t seem to matter if this gift is voluntarily or involuntary you still have a capacity to be in tune with others and occasionally when this happens it can overwhelm and sometimes hurt your very own being.
A lot of times Empaths are completely unaware of their gift but... they grow up sensing strongly they’re different in terms of recognising they’re extra sensitive to other peoples psyche, thoughts, feeling and emotions. Empaths have an ability to scan another person’s psyche and as strange as it may seem Empaths are unaware of how this actually works.
From my research I see being an Empath is much about knowing the truth. It cannot be hidden from you, no matter how hard someone tries because you feel/sense and know it. Empaths very often possess the ability to sense others on so many different levels; it’s important and comes from being observant of many things in others. Because of the way I was brought up... I ended up becoming gifted at walking into a room, scanning and then I would be able to advise on how every person in the room was feeling. Initially this gift came to me for very different reasons... My gift transpired out of necessity because I was always trying to keep myself safe (I was a victim of abuse on many levels) ... when I was really small I figured out if I knew how people were feeling, I’d be able to disappear quickly.
I see from current reading that Empaths have a biological/genetic and a distinct spiritual aspect. It seems those who are Empaths grow with these qualities as a whole package and may not learn about them until later in life... to which I must say I feel I’m a good example. I also hear being an Empath is inherited, genetic... inherent in our DNA and is passed from generation to generation. It has been studied both by traditional science and of course alternative practitioners.
I very much wanted to make a list of traits for an Empath, but on scouring the incredible amount of information on the internet, I felt unable to make that list as the traits were many...
I particularly enjoyed reading that Empaths are known to be born writers, singers and artists with a high degree of imagination, talent and creativity. Empaths are not just good listeners they are what I would label, intent listeners. They are also extremely affectionate not just in personality but also in expression. Speaking from experience, I would say, Empaths totally understand the past, present and future more especially the hereafter. They don’t have problems expressing love or goodwill, especially if they feel the receiver will benefit from their words, actions or deeds.
It is believed by many that Empaths are often quiet, also rather than receive a compliment they would rather point out another’s positive attributes. I know myself; I’m very expressive in all areas of emotional connection. I talk openly in respect of myself. I’ve also read that learning Empaths are good at blocking out others but that’s seen as a good thing, because being an Empath often means being open to a barrage of emotions which at times overwhelms. Empaths usually ignore their own needs. I know if an area is filled with conflict this creates a very uncomfortable feeling, causing us to attempt as soon as possible to settle the situation. I’ve also read we are sensitive to TV, Videos, movies, News etc. This is spot on... I find I cannot watch violence or sustain watching a drama that is highly emotional especially if its graphically shocking or if there are scenes of pain being inflicted on anyone, man, woman, child or animal, it quickly reduces me to tears as I struggle to comprehend why anyone would want to do such a thing.
I hear people from all walks of life are attracted to Empaths, this I know to be true... if I had a penny for every time I’d heard these wonderful words...
“I feel like I’ve known you forever”
I’m sure I would be nigh on close to a millionaire. I have found people even strangers say, they felt drawn to me. With most people I also feel that same warm wonderful connection. They also say they can’t believe how they went on to pour out their heart and soul, despite not intending too. I know it’s because they sense I’ll listen not just with understanding but also with compassion and importantly they know, feel and sense they can trust me.
I think it’s safe to say not only are Empaths the listeners of life they are also studiers, problem solvers and thinkers. The first time I was aware I was listening to somebody think I was in the company of my own father... I recall on many occasions I would sit in his presence and listen to him thinking. He was one of life’s thinkers just like I am now...
If you’re interested in looking at further information on all of the above I found this site a good one to check out: I used Elise’s site amongst others to do some research and found it to be a very good resource for helping one understand Empaths on a much deeper level. http://www.eliselebeau.com/empathResources.php
Till next time a million Hugs
If I was with a loved one and sensed no feelings of warmth and their behaviour displayed this consistently... always reeking of a cold heartedness. Then there could be no doubt for me, they don’t love, respect, want or need me ...
When I acquired my platform and decided bravely to open my heart with a view to sharing thoughts, feelings, dreams and parts of my life (some painful) by writing about them. Instantly I felt anxious just in case others felt my writing wasn’t good enough. I further worried in case others might disrespect me and my writing with the awful possibility of them even laughing. I realised scarily I was perhaps putting myself into a very uncertain world. When I look back to those worries I identify clearly, I merely lacked in confidence...
All in all, my blogging experience has been wonderful, healing, and therapeutic. I’ve discovered another world. Believe it or not, it’s significantly helped me to discover myself... I’ve previously written an article about this kind of communication and it's definitely not for everybody. For me, it continues to be a brilliant, consistent encounter with my true best friend...
I’m happy to report I’ve been more then pleasantly surprised... in just over a year I’ve thankfully only had one negative unstructured comment, which I discovered through a 3rd party. I knew from then on any further negative remarks could never be as bad as hearing that particular one, in view of whom it was from... All I will share is this... each and every one of us is entitled to our own opinion. The difference is some people can do it with honey whilst others do it with vinegar. It’s completely up to the individual and their personality and of course the motive behind the comments...
Occasionally in life I find myself focusing and then curiously placing myself in other people’s shoes. I do try very hard to be fair when sensing, possibly understanding, why one would continue to hold on to a heart of stone and an irritating holy than thou attitude, which overwhelms everybody when witnessing, jumped up superiority... I’ll never understand why anyone would keep a determined grip on negative, unrealistic, unfounded accusations. To most of us I know that would be utterly senseless, it gets one nowhere. Life my super doper floating little time bomb is precious, but unfortunately short... So learn fast and try where possible to make amends to those that matter.
In my heart I very often cry because I know despite being told there is so much you don’t comprehend... I’d always hoped you would understand or simply see straight before it's too late. However, my present wish will be that one day you will. By then though I'll sadly know, you and your life won’t ever be the same... the regret will be tremendous. The experience is irreversible and the loss will be unbearable.
As a family member myself, a mother and a friend, I’ve found on very odd occasions there have been times when I’ve had to bite my tongue, turn the other cheek, swallow anger or pride to allow for time out or direct more thought towards uncomfortable issues, importantly keeping the door ajar for stubborn ones. But, it’s been oh so worth it, just too simply keep hold of all those precious people in my life.
Some of us often become sadly aware that there’ll always be certain stubborn individuals, who for whatever reason are unable to grasp the concept and its reason. They then go on to spoil any possible happiness they could have experienced. We all appreciate there’s only so many times a person can knock on the door and offer the hand of friendship and love. There also comes a time for us to say,
“Ok, let’s agree to disagree and move on”
From firsthand experience and being an individual who can't bear giving up, in the past... even I had to recognise when enough was enough. It’s not a happy or self-righteous moment. Being blessed or not with always viewing the bigger picture, back then I was also able to completely perceive what it was going to be like not having, sharing, caring, loving that person and all they meant in life. Another BUT... but a very big one, sometimes for one’s own sanity I also strongly believe, there are certain people no matter how much we love or care for them that shouldn’t be in our lives, because of their own individual feelings, or should I say lack of them.
Now, if you’re sat in front of your screen wondering is this article directed at a certain someone? The answer is most definitely 'yes' ... I also feel the article and all it conveys could possibly apply to anyone reading it -I respectfully say, You know the saying 'If the cap fits'
Maybe many of you would like to know who the person is.
Let me share this with you... As a responsible writer, a person with integrity, I believe it’s possible to sensitively relay messages. It’s also wholly possible to do this without naming. My responsibility to any individual is still and always will be intact, regardless of what may or may have been said or done. It also allows me to write about what I want and perfectly heals from within. I think it’s also safe to say one can remove a person from one’s life and still love them; it’s just sometimes an extra wise precaution, to close the door firmly...
Sometimes we don’t actually like some decisions we make. Writing this for me has been a very good way of having my very own conference... Hashing it out, thinking about the why's, when's and wheres... comfortably bringing those very important reasons, explanations, intentions, causes, motives, aims and goals forward. I’m mindful of the agenda and back then although the decision was not made lightly, I've been able to reveal I’m aware of what I reluctantly gave up. However me being me, I needed to remind and reassure myself it was a good and right choice... In all fairness, the decision I realised was needed for both parties! Today for some strange, inexplicable reason, I needed to rationalise those reasons and my choice...
I always believe in finishing on a positive, so was going to finish with,
'Oh, I feel better already!'
Seriously though... maybe I don't. But hey that's life and we just have to get use to the possibility of being handed out shit... I'm sure the majority of you out there know what I mean, we've all had our fair share, just seems some deal with it and others don’t. For those of you who’ve managed to read this to the end, you know there are several messages in there somewhere!
Love, light and lots a lager xxx
If your in need of inspiration or just need a kick in the nether regions... check out the link below...? I'd very much like to introduce you to a wonderful guy I met today on Facebook. For me he's totally put everything into perspective and I suspect lots of other people too.
Thank god for people like you Nick Vujicic! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8ZuKF3dxCY&NR=1
Want to know more? below is Nicks own website...
http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/
I came across this beautifully written piece of poetry by ‘Max Ehrman’ It’s called ‘Desiderata’
It forced me to stop for a moment and think... Like so many of you I suspect I’m just as guilty of rushing around and through stuff... including life! But some time ago I made a resolution and after reading this I’m again trying to actively hush myself into remembering, it’s not absolutely necessary to accelerate at break neck speed through space and time.
I love it when words, life & people encourage me to stop and think. These words have a profound effect on me, not only are they written well, the words are deep and clear; helping us to understand what the writer is revealing... For me, the message came across loud and clear... I’m in total agreement. I love its simplicity, hope you do too. Enjoy!
‘Desiderata’
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labours and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
