Choice... Chance... & Change...

Thoughts may be random; they can also be spontaneous, even erratic.

Today friends, I sit here with so much in mind, but after reading and re-editing today’s piece, I feel quite surprised that I decided to share further moments of a time that were uncomfortable, and yet I do understand why ... I think I’m correct in saying that the end of this piece is inspirational in terms of where to go with your choices, because to facilitate change there has to be choice...

 

A favourite quote: “Change is the essence of Life. Be willing to surrender what you are, for what you could become”

~Reinhold Niebuhr~

 

I know in a moment everything can change. Everything I do is with you in mind... I never want to lose my precious light, my life, its rock and our reason to live... I feel so close. There’s no stopping us, we are one, we know secrets, and thank the lord above we have their cure.....  I love when your love falls around me, and when all else seems lost, and grey, it shows me the way. Sometimes I just want to put those earphones on, turn up the volume and close my eyes as I swirl, whirl and twirl through life to avoid everything else that’s going on... I see our world through the eyes of my heart, I love that I see this, because somewhere in the dark back of beyond, I know I could have closed my heart down and made it impossible to feel... feel... feel... Who needs that my friend?

It's not about what you’ve done, it’s not about what’s happened to you... it’s all about the little muscle in your chest... it’s about that spirit, that body, your soul.... You know who you are, you know what you want, you know how to get it and you further know that as long as no one gets hurt, the answer is nestled inside your colourful world. My world is not black and white... it has a shine, it throws out colours, and it allows those that know its secret, to flourish in abundance so that when they learn its secret, they can share, permeate, touch and pass through... It didn’t take me very long to learn life’s secret, it did take longer though, to realise how to communicate, to let somebody in on it... but it’s quite simple really... be YOU, be real, feel things, share stuff, progress on your journey, don’t hide behind a shadow, try not to mis-communicate to others, it just confuses issues and causes friction. Be open, honest and truthful, learn to love yourself because it’s true what others say, you can’t love another until you understand what love is all about...  

I put my faith into something ... I was constantly receiving the wrong information, I felt dazed, even confused, it wasn’t easy, I didn’t know what to do... but then my world blew up. I saw a nuclear mushroom, I witnessed the end of my world as I knew it and for 365 days, 52weeks, I was a vegetable... I needed help, but so like the days of my neglectful childhood, I didn’t know where to go. I stayed still, I hibernated, I hoped no one would come to see me; I didn’t want anyone, not even family... What was the point, why bother? The world was going to end anyway and I felt more than ready... Then I was prodded or should I say poked, or maybe I should really say, I eventually twigged, realising the end of MY world didn’t mean it was the end of everybody else’s world... Realistically I realised, life goes on and no matter what, I needed to get back on track, or else I really would disappear.  What help would that be to my beautiful family?

When again the light started to shine, I witnessed great vision, and extraordinarily I discovered unfamiliar knowledge. I was able to sense and secure ‘the honest to god truth’... it wasn’t over, although there was definitely light at the end of the tunnel, all I wanted to do was scream out... That’s my light, I want it, I need to flick the switch, make it shine bright... My girls need me, my beautiful husband would be very sad if I was no longer around... the dark started to shimmer silver, and it’s light burned brighter...I had a clear sense I was getting better, I hoped and prayed that a miracle would happen... I didn’t need drugs... I didn’t need to give false promises, I just wanted to gather family in my arms, and tell them as gently as possible.... “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh everything’s going to be alright”... So I shook my senses and told my loved ones as well as some friends, I’m alright but now I need unconditional Love... with that very important element, I knew I’d accomplish anything...

Since my return back to the beautifulness of our human race, I’ve managed to magically get life back on track. I’ve shown those around me that life is definitely worth living, and if and when you do hit rock bottom, its terribly important for you to bounce right back... For me anyway, it felt simple, so easy to realise that the little bulb that shines periodically in one’s brain, told me I’d landed, my heart, body and soul had been on a journey, but lessons were learned and it was ultra important to remember those lessons, like, where there is life there‘s hope, and where there is hope there’s Love.... My eyes, heart, body, and soul have been left wide open... I am fearful of nothing; I don’t ask for anything from anybody. And within my dreams there’s aspiration to make a difference... I don’t have an agenda, my list of needs have been ticked... I consider myself to be the lucky one, my life is the happiest it has ever been, and as I’ve said before...  this statement doesn’t mean it’s perfect, But... it’s as perfect as we can make it...

 

If you’re still here, and you’re feeling down, please try to remember... Life’s experiences manage to come in all sorts of shapes and form, however this builds character and no matter what, there is always an end. Things are sent to try us, and what must also be remembered is that you have a choice.

Life is beautiful, for me life worked to show that the opposite is so absolute and final... no one needs that, well not of course until the right time comes... Close your eyes and visualise your future!

Remember it’s going to be ok and if it’s not ok then it’s most definitely NOT over... 

I wish nothing but the very best for you...

Good Luck!

~JaneEwen~
      AKA
~AngelJane~